To those I have hurt, I now humbly pray, forgive me, forgive me, this solemn day. My hands are open, my heart laid bare, like pages inscribed with a whispered prayer.
To those I have lifted but not enough, I wish I had steadied when the journey grew tough. May my intent, though imperfect, still be received, as the breath of the shofar is heard and believed.
To those I neglected, whose needs I missed, I ask for compassion, a gentler twist. For silence was never the gift I would give, yet mercy reminds me to learn how to live.
And to those who upheld me when shadows grew long, you carried my spirit, you taught me a song. You mended the garment where it had been torn, and guided me gently toward being restored.
So I turn, and return, as the gates slowly close, with gratitude deeper than anyone knows. May the One who pardons, who shelters, who saves, inscribe us for life, for love, for the days.
It seems as though I’ve lost myself again Walking through the darkness of the day I’m not sure how, I’m not sure when, I didn’t know if I’ll ever find my way
The world has a different kind of glow So visceral, savage, with sadness at it’s core And as I stare into the darkness I think I know My eyes tear up again, feeling almost sore
My skin is wrapped to tightly around A body shaped like madness in the night With vengeance, I try to tear it to the ground In hopes that through the pain I’ll win the fight
The winter sky, it taunts me With it’s grey muted light No sunshine here for me to see Not through the day nor in the night.
I used to dream of better days Ones where I could feel and smile And know myself in every way And maybe I could stay a while.
But here I sit alone with my own demon foes Filing up my mind, heart and soul With unforgiving anguish, pain and woe With taunts and laughs taking their toll.
My body aches and shakes through the night And well into the waking hours My mind screams you are alone, you cannot fight Despite the dozens trying to give me safety and cover
I do not know where I am going anymore I thought I had a solid plan I cannot find reasons to remain, I’ve lost the war I’m no more than a broken man.
I used to think all broken things can be mended Repaired back into a useful state But I’m afraid such powers aren’t within me hosted The time has come to simply accept my fate.
Should you awaken to a day and find That I’m no longer with you here Remember as you search for meaning in your mind That no amount of crying can make me reappear
That’s ok though, really. It’s true The world never needed me at all And though my absence might be felt by a select few In chilly months of fall
The world will keep on spinning Never sensing any kind of loss It really is amazing How little human life can cost.
I’m a loser, I’m a freak im a loner, im a geek. Im a mystery in space not good looking in the face Just an ant beneath your feet. a useless thing, a pile of peat. at least thats what you see. but have you ever gazed into my eyes? ever cracked though the disguise? did you try to understand that I am no more than a man. Just a man, looking for way to keep his friends, to make them stay? they leave. everyone always leaves you know. sure I bend and break for all of you, and you abuse it through and through. And I ask for little in return just here and there give me a turn? perhaps you’ll find there’s more to me than you ever dared to see. but for now the secrets shall remain after all, i am Insane.
I am I am an artist, and a writer, and while my words may ne’er be tighter, I am a man, and lover still, and we shall never have our fill. I am demolished, I am destroyed by every method you employed. I am a shadow in the night, I am you darkness I’m your fright. I am the voice that whispers in your ear when madness comes and all is clear. I am your weakness, I’m your strength, through the fire, you’ll make the length. I am your sword, I am you shield, through the water and the field. I am your tactics, first response, And I am your second chance. I am a question, I’m a light I’m an answer and your might. But above and despite all else, I am here. I am your friend. and this shall last to the very end.
As luck should have it, I am the newest member of a corporate family. Therefore, introductions are in order. In the pre-covid days this would be done with much fanfare, celebration, food, wine, dance, performances by Oscar winning actors and Grammy winning singers. Fire breathers, contortionists, magicians would take the stage and set the proper ambience for the round of introductions that happens when a new member joins the team. But Covid has changed our world and this time around the team decided that in lieu of all that, I should simply write a brief introduction and email it to everyone.
Very well. I can do that.
In a place Gatsby refused to agree is a small town, in the one thousand nine hundred ninety first year of our common era, I was born in spring month of May, amid the blooming of the flowers, likely resulting from the rain in April. I grew up just a few miles north of that lovely town in a small city known as Royal Oak and from there moved to Rochester hills. I hit the requisite marks, submitted the necessary paperwork and was properly institutionalized at Michigan State University, an institution of higher learning (or so they say). There I spent 4 years plotzing along a predefined path through their curriculum and received a lovely document that hangs on my wall.
I have done a great many things in the passing years. I spent some time teaching people how to sail boats. Indeed, I have a project boat waiting for me this summer at the family cabin. With any luck I can get her sea-worthy without too much trouble. I spent some time making short documentary videos and even applied for a PBS grant to develop a show about local artists. I did not get the grant but hope to still produce the show for a YouTube audience eventually. I spent 3 years as a project manager for small tech firm specializing in experiential marketing technologies geared towards the event world.
At present I have settled in a quaint habitat in the city of Madison Heights. My parents decided I do not get to take my dogs with me when I moved out and so the house is often a little too quiet where I should hear the constant noise generated by Teddy and Mishka. I intend to bring them home one day. But first I should probably fix the holes in the fence? That is a discussion for another time. In any case, when I am not working, I dabble in photography (and am a member of the photographers guild of America), film production, Event streaming, music, reading, writing, languages, among other things. I love spending time in the woods with a bon fire going, the grill nice and hot, the puppies bouncing like lunatics, while the cheap Bluetooth speakers attempts to produce some pleasing noise based on my Spotify playlist. Prior to covid I was known to host dinner parties regularly and would often have friends, family, or coworkers over for a multicourse meal on a random Friday night. Perhaps we’ll get lucky and that is a tradition I can start back up soon.
I hope this overly dramatized introduction gave you all a minor glimpse into the controlled chaos and fun we are all about to embark on as I fully integrate into the family.
Staring at the ceiling, Counting passing stars, I never thought my numbers Would ever get that far. Yet I keep on counting, Hoping for the best. All I really wanted, Was some peaceful rest. Alas! The world thought it funny That a simple man like I Should have any peace at all Till the day I’ll die. So my number ‘s rising And my day grow dim It’s not too far, the day I’ll take my final swim.
Adventure forged into the night Desire built by candle light This isn’t your normal escapade Tight! Feel it on your skin The ropes have got you pinned Are you ready for this charade?
You want to forget your name I’m ready to play this game Take a breath and surrender to my whim You like to feel my pain I love making marks remain We’ll fill your bucket to the brim.
Now tied up hand and foot Vibrator there to loot I’m watching as you lose control You’re begging me for more I’ve got some tricks in store These feelings penetrate your soul
You feel it coming on Your body shaking strong Never thought a night could go like this As you lie panting there Messed up all your hair Feeling an eternal bliss.
Your eyes gazing at me A feeling of victory Then I tell you that there’s more to come You are slightly scared inside Maybe even petrified But you need to feel what you’ve become.
You tell me yes please sir As my hands start to stir And you lose control again You’re finally feeling free Free from the misery But you are addicted to my zen
Another round we go And now you know for sure You never wanted this to end I say that’s all for now You give me a frown As my hand rests on you head
In my head I have trapped a hundred stories tales of different times and different glories And I can’t tell where ends the truth, where starts the lie Which one are you and which am I. The earth keeps spinning round and round I remain lost hoping to be found
At the water’s edge I look below The subtle stream moved so slow Don’t know what there is to see The reflection there, it isn’t me Can’t recognize my sight or voice It’s the result of every choice
The fire grows and belows bright Bringing warmth to my delight. I feel it singe, ravage and burn Like the decisions I’ve made in silly turn And as the night grows old and dim My mind takes its turn to grim
You stoke the fire so it may forge the strongest steel Through it’s desire, you slowly forget how to feel The steel is strong but it is brittle I’m feeling lost, I’m feeling little And fire is getting higher I might surrender I’m so tired.
Can’t believe this is what I am You said go and I began But I don’t recognize the shadow in the dark And the fire. It’s giving off sparks. I deflect but they still burn No matter how I twist and turn.
I told myself I’d keep on living Every day just keep on giving But I’m giving to a jester Who exists only to pester And my mind can’t find distinction Between my facts and and all my fiction
Perhaps the time is nigh To finally write my last goodbye To swim away to the abyss Where no one will dare to miss A silly wretch as damned as I And so my friends I say: goodbye.
They say that 3am is the hour of poets. And yet I cannot string a single couplet together. For years I sold myself as a writer, a poet with a fire in my soul that needs to pour out onto parchment or paper to keep from burning me from the inside out. I spoke of dreams, of plans and concepts which needed to brought forth from the crevices of my brain into the world that surrounds us. I spoke of music and of costume, of performances which may take the world by storm. And yet i sit here, pen in hand, unable to scrawl a single phrase of value upon the pale sheet which taunts and haunts me. Perhaps I am destined never again to write. Perhaps I should renounce that self-pronounced title for good. But without it, what am I? Have I not always been the dreamer, the poet, the storyteller? If that is not me, then what is left? That, my dear friends, is my unknown. The X in my indeterminate equation, the solution for which the greatest minds have not begun to derive. The fire, smoldering, keeps burning; The words, remain foreign. Stubbornly they fight me, refusing to come forth and fill the empty page. Perhaps in this torrid flame, I shall be incinerated at last, never again to present myself as more than just a sad example of a man.
who asked for your sudden clear return on a night as this, quiet, calm and stern? Who asked you to come rushing from thine eyes Revealing all the truth that behind closed eyelids lie? Who asked you to remind us of what we long had laid to rest Putting our convictions, our decisions through the test? But most of all I wonder, though to some it may seem clear Why must we remember things we once held close and dear Which since have been estranged from us, to places long unknown, Where in darkness cobwebs and dust has in abundance grown? Why must we be haunted by that which now matters not, By that which just moments prior we long believed to be forgot? What mystic force drives you from your rusty crypt To crawl through my brain tonight announcing your old tired script? May I, perhaps, control this force, and cast you off forever? I oft had thought it possible, but It seems I am not so clever. So evenings come and evenings go, they are at your disposal And sitting here in broken dreams, I try to cast one last proposal. Leave me now and give me peace, that I may rise once more. Arise a mortal victor, I, higher, stronger, grander than before
The world is full of opportunities. The multitude of possibilities lay out in front of us like water in the ocean, but many of us are afraid to swim. We see wave after wave of chance crash upon the sands of our present, washing away the sand castles of previous attempts with each pass. Seeing the destruction, we remain paralyzed in fear and doubt. The waves take no notice. They continue their rhythmic roll, reminding you that so long as you can see the water, you can walk into the ocean of opportunities, and take a chance. Build a raft if you have to. The waves will use their might to push you back to the shore from whence you came. Recall that every breath you take is another chance to stand and fight, to swim and row and sail with all your strength, to navigate your raft until that fateful moment you reach a new shore, with new prospects and see the dawn in a new light. The second chances we need are all around us, we only need to learn to swim.
Living on this spinning sphere
Haven’t found our escape
Seeking daily to change our lives,
Somehow to alter our fate
Tangential to every plan there is
The reality of whats expected
And through every action we try to take,
There’s always so much to be protected..
So much of what is in our lives
Depend on gods and heavens
But honor, love and our fate
But honor, love and our fate
Are ours to make or break
They’re ours to make or break
No matter what our lives may throw
We have to keep on pushing
To create an honest truth at home
Is the only mission
The roads ahead may be rough
The coming turns are dimming
Don’t compromise on who we are
Our strength is only the beginning
written by Daniel
